I write.. just write it out!
I forget the last time I started this, but each time I have problem and this injury is killing me, I write my pain to get therapy for myself. I have many dark poem of myself, showing how I try to catch up with my pain and move on. It was my first reason of writing my website ‘PrincessKaurvaki’ .
One day, my friend asked me whether most of the poetry is about me or other. I said only few of them, more are about inspiration and things beyond life. She said she was surprised reading all those emotional poetry. People catch me as mature woman, look very strong outside, never complain anything and look like genius girl do anything well. No, I’m liar! I’m the biggest liar ever! You could never believe anything I said and you should not. All things you see about me could be just a manipulation I made for you.
Yes, I have to say, I’m person who don’t like showing my weakness and pain. I feel like they should not see it. I couldn’t hide it sometimes. It’s killing me slowly. My mental is disturbed and I feel like the death actor with live body. But still, I’m one who feels not easy to start a conversation and share my problem to other. Don’t say I didn’t try. I tried, but I just felt all weird and not comfort. For me, it’s never been easy. I have problem in conversation and communication with other. I do speak less.
May be I was made to be like this. May be I just have to write it out.. into a diary, into a poetry, to finally read my pain into an art and taste those pains again, but feel better because I have been higher person for myself. It’s not that I’m a good writer. I’m just the amateur one, who trying to relieve the pain and feel better when write it out. For me, it’s instant theurapical.
I’m still sitting here.. with the darkness around me. It’s still my best friend. It still accompanies me and waits for another poetry wrote by me. I feel empty, there’s a hole inside my heart. But the ink and paper come closer to me to whisper:
‘Don’t be worry, don’t be sad, and don’t be mad. I’m here to be with you, be your slave, listen to you and be all you need. Just close your eyes, and I’ll be here for you, right the second you wish. We’ll spread our power into your soul and at the sudden you have strength. You just have to write it out.. and you have our strength. Don’t be worry, don’t be sad. You have future in the palm of your hand. And very soon, you’re no longer feeling alone and empty’.